Dirty Water: Cloister Museum of Pre-Cataclasmic History - Object Intake Report

Micah Epstein for BCN #133

March 11, 2021

Object G-42/71-0014 | timestamped origin year: -84 B.C.1 (Before Cataclysm 1) solar years

General Description: A glass tablet or prism of Preservationist make. Rounded corners. When exposed to sunlight (which is hard to come by these days) it emits a soft hum and displays a touchable interface. Characters and grammar are unclear.

Notes: Retrieved from within a well-preserved vault that conforms to Preservationist standards exhibited in other vaults. Found nearby the remnants of a cloister called, over the course of its existence: Boss Tone (archaic), Bay Village (archaic), or Mouth-of-Ports (archaic). In line with Preservationist values, painstaking efforts were made to “future-proof” the information stored within the tablet. Some, such as durability and storage, were successful, as indicated by the easy discovery and working condition of the object. Other future-proofing efforts, such as language accessibility and information architecture, were less successful. Attempts to decode the contents of the tablet continue to be futile. If it contains valuable blueprints or saucy romance novels, we will never know.

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The Localized Significance of New New England Artifacts

By Jethro

We all know classic artifacts like Lego and GI Joe. With examples still being unearthed to this day, they were clearly popular pre-Cataclysm, and they are certainly popular today. Their rich narratives have been passed across generations via stories and games, and through them we can begin to understand our predecessors lives and aspirations. That brings me to the artifacts in question today. These sculptures are unique because they do not share the same polished quality or comprehensive oral history behind them. Cross a certain threshold, some amount of distance away from Mouth-of-Ports, and no one will have ever heard of Jay Walker or W.E.B Boi. But within that radius, there is a magical network of similarity. A loose community. On the lucky few opportunities I’ve had to travel out-of-cloister, I’m always struck by similarities between my fellow New New Englanders...and the fundamental difference of farther flung cloisters. We have a connection. A shared value set. I think that’s pretty rad. With everyone all podded up, it’s rare to find that sense of broader community. Sure, exchange between cloisters is so costly, but I think there are some things worth sharing.

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Object G-42/71-0014 Report Update:

Exciting news! A recent donation (P-41/71-7812) from the Island of Roads cloister has shed new light on the mystery of the indecipherable glass tablet. The donation - a palm-sized, human-ish figurine - has characters on its shirt and hanging from its ears that match certain parts of the tablet’s interface. Even more amazingly, the donor knew how to decipher the characters and even provided some context: “Oh ya that was a LEGENDARY slimecore band pre-Catalcysm.” Whatever that means. Based on initial translations, we believe the tablet is a repository of “academic papers.” Beyond that, the contains remain unintelligible. Our work continues.